Thoughts on She Returned

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"She Returned" happened when I was in college, sitting in the fifth floor stairwell of my dorm. It's all echo-ey in there, and I'm sure people wondered where all the howling was coming from, and if some animal was in distress, perhaps suffering pranks by those terrible boys on the second floor. In the beginning I was reflecting upon my upcoming move to Colorado. How would I change out there? What would I experience, and how would I be when I came back? Singing it now I realize how prophetic it was. --But the song isn't really supposed to be about me (how we artists betray our secret selves!). It's a story of another girl, some graceful creature whose very clothes speak her sensual, playful, and now more mature challenges. (Or does the boy listening only project into the sound of her skirt what he wants her to be saying?) At any rate, there is a noticeable difference. --Same person he loved, now coming to him boldly, and altogether womanly. She's ready to love him as an adult, to commit to his imperfect person, and to share herself with him.

The second verse brings us into contact with the girl's heritage. "The wounded wood" might be her parents, or her community, anyone with whom she now seeks to make peace. They still want to fight. The image is of these huge trees dwarfing the girl, taunting her, intimidating her. But she has grown up, has chosen to live by her own values and goals. They no longer have power over her. The girl is able to shrug off their manipulative attempts to control her, first with an explanation of what really matters to her, then with a plea to change with her, an invitation to become more mature, to have an adult relationship, and finally, leaving those decisions up to them, she speaks her own resolve -- "Not tonight."

No matter how many times I sing this song, I am moved by it. It has taken on more meaning for me, now four years since I wrote it. --The courage and confidence make this girl strong, and coupled with her refusal to be anything but kind and inviting in the midst of the confrontation makes her beautiful. She stays focused. She does not become defensive. When I sing this I think, "That's the kind of woman I want to be!"

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